


Cardigan

by Crazy_Pairing_Person



Series: Nikaido Raku [2]
Category: Handa-kun! (Anime)
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 15:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 853
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17665607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crazy_Pairing_Person/pseuds/Crazy_Pairing_Person
Summary: Nikaido is nervous.





	Cardigan

**Author's Note:**

> Before anyone gets confused, this series takes place immediately after episode 12 of the anime.

Nikaido slowly tapped her pencil against her lip, staring at the front of the classroom and trying to seem like her heart wasn't pounding in her chest.

The class had taken her coming out in stride. In fact, they'd almost been too calm about the whole matter. She'd let them know of her preferred pronouns, and the name she wanted to go by, and that was that. Some of them had stared in confusion when she first entered the room, but only a few - likely because of her past insistence on being Juliet, back at the festival.

But still. It was too calm. It felt like they were all secretly planning to make fun of her, whether behind her back or in some big spectacle... Or maybe both.

The thought made her stomach churn.

By the time lunch came, she was an absolute wreck. And it was, apparently, obvious. Tsutsui, Aizawa, Kondo and Handa himself all approached her desk while she was still zoned out. Almost everyone else in the class left to eat with friends or in the cafeteria, and those who stayed minded their own business.

"Raku," Kondo spoke gently, "it's lunch time. Did you bring a lunch?"

She was jolted from her thoughts at the sound of her friend's voice. "Oh, Yuki... No, I didn't..." She paused, voice trailing off slightly as she stared up at the decidedly most average of their group. "Yuki, what'd you just call me?"

"Um... Raku? That was what you said you wanted to be called, right? Did I misunderstand or mispronounce it or something?"

Nikaido shook her head rapidly. "No, no. You didn't misunderstand and you said it perfectly. I just..." She sighed shakily. "Everyone's being so nice about it. I'm... It's nerve-wracking."

Everyone blinked. "People being nice to you," Tsutsui said slowly, "is nerve-wracking?"

"When you say it like that it sounds stupid," Nikaido immediately shot back.

But then, before Tsutsui could scream at her (just because she'd come out didn't exempt her from his wrath, evidently) her savior spoke.

"It doesn't sound stupid to me."

All eyes shot to the calm face of Handa. "Everyone's been nice to me this whole time," he continued, either not noticing the sudden attention or not caring, "but for almost my entire school career, I've thought people hated me. I've misunderstood and twisted every single nice thing people have done and said because I was paranoid. Who knows what would have happened if I didn't finally let my walls down at the festival...?" He frowned, but shook it off and continued, "My point is... Raku, if people are acting nice, maybe you should take it at face value. Sometimes people are scheming when you're not looking, but for the most part the people who act nice are genuinely being nice. I can certainly say that I have no plans to... Uh... What exactly are you worried about again?"

Nikaido gave a nervous laugh. "Um... Some sort of public humiliation, I guess? I mean, people secretly whispering behind my back isn't something I care about as long as it stays behind my back, so..."

Handa nodded. "Well, I, personally, have no plans to do either of those. What about you guys?"

"Absolutely not!" Aizawa said. "The Handa Force is always behind its members, no matter their gender identity!"

Handa's face scrunched up into a sort of disturbed expression. "You're still doing that?"

"They're not stalking you anymore," Kondo quickly said. "And I'm not either. Well, I never did to begin with. I think they just use the name as a sort of, uh, 'squad name' or something?"

Handa sighed. "Whatever. Still creepy, though," he mumbled. Then he turned to Nikaido. "Feel any better?"

"I guess," she mumbled. "I still feel... Weird, though."

Handa hummed, putting a finger to his chin and looking Nikaido up and down. "Maybe it's your clothes," he suggested. At the confused look he received, he continued, "The skirt's fine. But you wore that cardigan before coming out, right? Subconsciously, you might be associating it with people thinking of you as male. Maybe try a different color or something?" He leaned close to Nikaido, making her cheeks flush a light pink and her eyes go wide. "Makeup, too. School policy is pretty strict, but you can wear colored lipgloss."

Nikaido hummed, looking down at the cardigan. She'd worn the cardigan as a way to get people to at least question her gender - if only for a second. But Handa was right - she had worn it for so long, it was possible that she just associated it with people referring to her as the wrong gender, the wrong pronoun, the wrong name.

"I suppose I'll have to find a new cardigan, then," she said softly. And with that, she stood. "Thanks, Handa. I appreciate your words of wisdom."

And she left the classroom.

* * *

Kondo turned to Handa. "Hey, how'd you come up with that stuff? Seemed like something a therapist might say."

"Honestly? I just said the first things that came to mind."

While Aizawa and Tsutsui were thoroughly impressed, Kondo merely sighed in exasperation.


End file.
